A Judgement on Incest

Many people today in Lincolnshire are afeared that that big earthquakery be a judgement on that there incest.

Save Money on School Trips

Instead of the government lashing out money on sending VI formers to Auschwitz to see how bad it was, they should know if they're in the VI form, unless they're geeky physicists who see evrybody as a temporary pile of elctrons and their best friends are batteries. Instead of wasting money on the Auschwitz trips why don' t they just build a small camp at the bottom of their playing fields, put the VI in it for a week, have them guarded by 3rd years, that'll be year 9 to the rest of you. it's a win win situation, the VI get to know how horrible it was and the 3rds get to know how power corrupts. Great educational idea and cheap to boot. You can get the technology students to build, sorry didn't that used to be metal work and wood work? I wanted to do metal wwork, they never let me, bastards.

TWAT is Plain Stupid

The War Against Terror seems to be a load of guff. All those armed plod, standing around, with their Heckler-Koch dick-compensators seem to be on a par with Dad's Army. they might as well stand at the door of Parliament and shout "Don't panic! Don't panic!" I'm not arguing for more security I'm arguing for less, this TWAT is being used by a deeply corrupt and illiberal political party with a secret agenda to strip away many freedoms and rights and to ram through police state controls with attempts to ratchet up a climate of fear where we're worried about them. Who are them?
Men with beards, terrorist cells (31 and counting today, though obviously they don't have the nouse of third runway protesters; maybe 9/11 was carried out by flight protesters, hey it all begins to make sense, the planes, the spectacular explosions to demonstrate global warming, yes it must have been them.), that army of paedophiles out there, those binge drinkers errrr general people who aren't worried, people who see politicians as the corrupt individuals they are, that'll do for the moment.

Now the Drugs Don't Work

Check out the Times and Grauniad, I can't I'm too pissed-off.

That Sub Prime Crisis Explained

Everything you ever wanted to know about Sub Primes but were too embarassed to ask.


Thanks to the City Unslicker

Big Bro in A Mo

Britain, the only one in the EU to do so, wants to collect lots and lots of info on passengers, not just air passengers but sea and rail passengers. And it will be kept for 13 years, why 13?? So the Bro can profile passengers, passengers who might be terrorists. Phew, it's there to keep us safe. That's OK then. It's another glorious stride ahead in TWAT.

Apparently there's been a pilot scheme working on flights between here and Pakistan and according to the Grauniad,

"Britain is pushing for a more comprehensive system based on the experience of a UK pilot scheme that has been running for the past three years. Officials say Operation Semaphore, monitoring flights from Pakistan and the Middle East, has been highly successful and has resulted in hundreds of arrests."

Oh goody, hundreds of arrests. Would that be arrests of terrorists? Dunno, but at least it's hundreds of arrests so that's good. Just a mo the PLOD love arresting people, it's what they live for but you know call me a picky little civil libertarian but what about convIctions? For terrorism? Any ideas anyone?

Pushing the Brand Higher and More Profitably,

Repeat after me Beijing Good, Beijing Good. Come on athletes let's not have any complaining about human rights abuses and all that in China, sign that contract now. I was going to knock up a picture with the olympic rings as handcuffs but Reporters without Frontiers have done a better job. So i'll be boycotting these olympics and the next in London. When business gets mixed in with sport it just kills it.

As you can see with the risible ideas, no let's say stupid idea of extending the premiership league by one game to be played in another country. It's just being done for the money and when scudaloadsmoremoney starts talking about extending the brand, you know he's up his greedy marketing arse.

Top marks to Platini for dismissing the idea with an excellent quote, maybe it's the funniest thing a French person has ever said,

"It’s ironic. You already have no English coach, you have no English players and maybe now you will have no clubs playing in England. It’s a joke."

Email the premier league with your thoughts

or sign the petition @

Bang - a New Arms Race is Off

Hands Off Bish

Let's just get rid of all religions, now. If we're wrong we'll answer before whatever it is out there, if we're not.

New Cardboard Boxes for Feckless

In an attempt to meet the needs of the feckless unemployed in many northern cities and horrible areas of London where there aren't any fancy coffee bars and delicious little delis the feckless will be turfed out of their comfy council houses and darling little flats on the 18th floor and given cardboard boxes, up to three per person.
This is the furst move by pushy government tart Lady Elspeth Flint-Hearted, minister for De-Housing.
"One must realize that many of these lazy, stupid people are taking up valuable housing stock and not even bothering to put in extra rooms in the attics or considering conservatories. It's shocking the amount of money these people waste by not buying their homes, quite frankly what do these people talk about at their dinner parties?"
The cardboard boxes will "sharpen their resolve to become an economic viable unit in this modern go-ahead, service orientated Britain."
And if they don't sharpen up their ideas and freeze to death or waste away then we'll be better off without them.
And of course one of the immediate benfits would be that there would be a lot more property for good, middle class people to speculate with.

They Must Know What They're Doing

Call me a stupid, cynical journalist but why does the Government need to ban juries and be able to appoint their own coroner at inquests.

Why would that be, surely not the fact their cases against "terrorist suspects" would be thrown out by a jury of good men and women true or that a coroner might kick up a fuss about the police executing their duty.

Soon you won't be able to move for Brazilians littering the floor of underground trains if this government has its way.

They must be stopped from taking away all our liberties and freedoms.

Exactly Where is the News?

The Spice Girls breaking up is that it, the news? And even that is half the size of the free Mr Men book.

Adieu Miles Kington

C'est avec beaucoup de sadness I have just apprendre that le magnificent Miles Kington has departe from this mortal coil. C'etait le only temps when I enjoyed la francais quand j'etais un teenager quand j'ai read "Let's Parler Franglais." Remember les Francais ne parle pas real 'O' level francais.

Adieu

7 January 1994

"I first saw the truth," said the old man sitting opposite me in the train, "when I was working in Fleet Street a long time ago." This extraordinary, unlikely statement caught my attention immediately. "I thought that people who worked in Fleet Street had extreme disrespect for the truth," I said. "All journalists are cynics, are they not?"
"Oh yes," he said, "but that does not mean they do not respect the truth. In fact, they respect the truth so much that they do not waste it on their newspaper readers. They keep it for their private conversations in the pub afterwards. The story a journalist is not allowed to print is always more interesting than what he was allowed to get away with. Mark you, a journalist also thinks that the way he got a story is generally much more interesting than the story itself, which is very seldom true." See more at the Independent.