Amazing Bet Comes in

Pensioner George Truss became a multi-millionaire this afternoon when his triple Uhaventahoper came in. "I'm absolutely amazed, I can't believe it. Who are you? Get out of my house."
George had bet on a series of bizarre alibis being offered up to the police and amazingly they all came in. The first was for a serial killer of prostitutes to use the alibi that it was all just coincidence, nothing to do with him.
After that George started to get excited when he saw that a man had said that he'd had sex with a dying woman but hadn't killed her.
"That's when I thought that my luck might be in, how's Mildred?"
By then he just wanted two bizarre alibis to bring the millions in, "I was dead chuffed when I heard that man yesterday say that a woman had picked up his knife and stabbed herself 37 times, I was over the moon."
"And today a when I heard on the radio that a man convicted of raping and then murdering two women with a hammer had said it had been done by a hooded man who was in the house at the same time, well I just hobbled for joy."
George said he's going to spend his winnings on whores, Viagra and buckets of cocaine.