Do You Like Jade?

ring ring

hello hcsb help line, how can i help you?

i have a problem with my account

OK, can i have your name

john smith

and the third and fifth numbers of your security code

4 and 7

OK, that's good now what's the problem?

well, I know that my account has over £2000 pounds in it but my card isn't working

ah yes, you are well in credit but there is a problem

oh, what's that?

well that fat, stupid pig Jade Goody has been picking on our Shilpa

errr

and i'm going have to deduct those funds from your account until you decide to evict Goody and then send her school to ram some sense into that vacuous head and then get her to do some exercise so she doesn't look like a hippo with glandular problems. is that everything?

errrrrrrr

OK, goodbye