Crikey Irwin Crocked
So the final sting in the tail for the ockker....
Sky kept banging on about Irwin all day (4th Sep), occasionally considering the murdered tourists in Jordan, then sliding back to Irwin again. I suppose it was more photogenic than Jordan, more croc wrestling, baby dangling and lots of oh crikies, except of course if they had the Skycopter to hover over the murder scene wobbling back-and-forth as we gaze at inexplicable pictures of immobile ambulances and unmoving police.
I suppose they could have dispatched that sad faced gentleman they usually make go and stand outside Scotland Yard or the Old Bailey (the Home Office today, that's new), he never gets much of a look in, always standing outside a police station or court, in the rain, to recite the fact that The Plod are still holding some men of Muslim appearance because they might have thought something about something in a threatening manner.
Why do they do that, does it give us colour, drama, action? The smarmy studio presenters, you can hear them smugly thinking to themselves "I don't have to go outside in the rain to read out The Plod's statement," then they cut off the sad gentleman before he finishes with a lofty "errr thank you err Martin thingy" and with relief they turn to the world expert on everything; you want the firing rate of a sniper with a Walther WA2000 in Afghanistan, he's your man, how to commercially produce and cut heroin, he's your sky expert, the subtleties of Japanese royal protocol, he's your instant guru or in this case how to wrestle a crocodile, he's your man again.
"So Genius, what do you think?" "Pontificate, blah, blah, name drop, a little amusing story to show what a world renowned journalist I am, on first name terms with the news, blah, blah and a wry smile."
"Yes, indeed and thank you, now some breaking news, Steve Irwin is still dead, Police are on the trail of the killer skate. So genius, Skates, where is their sting, in the nose?"
"Chuckle, chuckle.....No you vacuos lap dancing news whore, chuckle, chuckle."
That was yesterday. Today's today and they're still banging on about it. Though lightened with Ian Huntley trying to top himself, cue genius on what it's like being banged up in Monster House, "Blah, blah, bit depressed, bored, hide the pills, swallow them all at once, blah, blah."
Then they have a discussion on voluntary euthenasia, turn a blind eye, let them top themselves, for the best really blah, blah.
And the rest of the News
Sep 5 06
Top Story
Elderly cyclist loses identity while on trek(China Daily)
A 90-year-old man in Jinan of Shandong Province loves riding his bicycle in mountainous regions. However, his forgetfulness left him lost in the southern part of the region, where he stayed for 10 days. The villagers in the region gave the elderly man food and care. But he could not remember his name, and the villagers didn't know how to help him. Eventually they turned to the police for help, and policemen finally helped the man to find his way home.
Qilu Evening News courtesy of chinadaily.com
Man loses memory and is helped home. Fantastic.
Other Top Stories
War On Terror
Government to stop fatties by teaching them to cook....right
Shoot the Rogues, Deserters And Cowards
I love this, in the Telegraph, Haig's son, George Haig the 2nd Earl Haig, attacks the pardoning of 360 soldiers shot for cowardice
"the commanders knew best" he says; as stupid as his dear papa. "Rogues, persistent deserters and criminals...They had to be made an example of," he intones, the authentic port-ridden voice of the British ruling class. And all I could think of when I read this is General Haig in Blackadder sweeping his soldiers into a dustpan and tossing them over his shoulder. Men were nothing to this butcher of the Somme. Labour MP Andrew Mackinlay has a nice turn of phrase, ""I'm astonished he's got the audacity to put his head above the parapet on this one." So come Haigy we'll put you in a muddy hole, fire heavy ordinance at you, snipe at you,let you get trench foot, surround you with rats the size of cats and see how you feel after 4 weeks, or maybe 4 months...or as they might have put it in the trenches, put a sock in it you wanker.
BEAR STORY
The curse of the bear lands again as a man tries to barbecue a bear and sets fire to his garage. Oi you wanker leave that bear alone.
SPORTS
Sports prediction : William Gallas to score a home goal when he plays for Arsenal
Sports Opinion : Still don't like that surly bollock Andy Murray, I never thought I'd say this but "Come on Tim."
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