Flint is Bananas

Sitting here in my fluffy dressing gown nursing a severe 3 bottles of red hangover and a cigarette after my very large fried breakfast of masses of bangers, bacon, black pudding, scrambled eggs, buttery toast and fried toms and shrooms I feel only now can I do justice to Caroline Flint's fruity sugestions. I know I'm a bit late but I couldn't believe it on Tuesday when she instructed us that we should learn how to eat fruit and not to be put off by scarey fruit. At the time I thought the Daily Star and Evening Standard, "London's Quality Paper", yeah right in the same way that the Stormtrooper Daily was the nazis' quality paper, had gone off on one about her and bananas but no we really are being instructed to eat fruit. Maybe Martin Amis is right satire is dead (see satire is dead...on this blog), Nu Labor seems to be taking the piss out of themselves.

Why do we have to eat fruit?

Because we're the fatties of europe.

And they don't want to spend lots of money on us as they've cocked up the NHS.

I myself can swear by eating fruit regularly. Every Christmas I have a couple of oranges, maybe a punnet of strawberries at Wimbledon and in August I go blackberrying. And that has kept me in a fit and healthy condition. nobody should be made to eat those filthy bananas, they're always covered in man-eating spiders, and as for the rest they should be banned, kiwi fruit does that really come from New Zealand? I mean eating fruit must be wrong, it's against nature. I've watched the ladies in the office eating their bowls of berries, and sliced up Kiwi Fruit and apples; I like watching them eating bananas but they don't seem to do that anymore, in front of me anyway. But you look at the ladies eating fruit and i don't want to be rude or anything but they are mostly porkers, so who you kidding eating fruit in the office but when you get home you can't wait to get your lips around a big bar of dark chocolate, or the thin but deadly pale, these are the yankettes mostly in the office, they have about as much spark as a dead battery. So fruit seems to be doing you a load of good, you've barely got the energy to munch a berry.

But only Nu Labor would have the gall to say we should be shown how to eat fruit.

caroline flint the Minister in charge of fatties is a typically head prefect, smarmy, lick spittle 97 intake nulaborist, here's some more examples of her bollox

From the Guardian website,
Caroline Flint says: On her proudest achievement in parliament since 1997: "I'm proud of the campaign to cancel a prison at RAF Finningley airbase, the securing of the site's sale for aviation which, of successful, will result in an ?80m private sector regeneration scheme, a new regional airport and thousands of jobs for Doncaster."

Not so pleased now I bet, we need that prison.

from her website announcement

"Figures show that if we sit back and do nothing obesity prevalence in men will rise from 22 per cent in 2003 to 33 per cent in 2010. "

Right I'm off to peel a grape