Stars on Patrol

A new reality show welcomes nominations of stars to send on patrol in Helmand Province. The winner of the vote goes to Afghanistan, they might come back after three months.

I nominate Jade Goody; I'd love to see her yomping her way around Helmand, sweating her fat, talentless ass off, her essex whine rising in intensity as the Taleban bullets whiz a little too close, possibly time for a burkka Jade?

Other nominations are

Ant and Dec
Noel Edmonds
Philip Schofield
Bruce Forsyth
Everyone from strictly come dancing
Everyone from X factor
Alan Sugar
Jody Marsh
Terry Wogan

Nominations welcome.