How dare the Daily Express, the Greatest Newspaper in the World, call Streatham a "run-down south London suburb."I, of course, immediately fired off a letter to the editor of that redoubtable organ.
Dear Sir or Madam
I'd like to take issue with you describing Streatham as a run-down south London suburb. It is quite clearly not. We have a full range of services enjoyed by many other parts of London. We have banks, as you may have noticed the other day when it was reported in many papers that the HSBC on the High Road had been robbed. We have lots of supermarkets, with an especially splendidly stocked Lidl, no waitrose as yet but soon. There are a full range of leisure facilities in Streatham, we have an ice rink, yes the one where that boy was shot. If you go down the hill from the High Road, straight past the yellow sign talking about kerb crawling there is the beautiful Lido, open throughout the summer. I love the way the very air of Streatham is redolent of our many different cafes and chicken shacks. And running through the middle of Streatham is the High Road like a main circuit cable. On a very special night under those southern stars you might hear the triple; an ambulance, a fire engine and a police van all careering through the traffic jam. To be in Streatham is to be in heaven.
I'd like to take issue with you describing Streatham as a run-down south London suburb. It is quite clearly not. We have a full range of services enjoyed by many other parts of London. We have banks, as you may have noticed the other day when it was reported in many papers that the HSBC on the High Road had been robbed. We have lots of supermarkets, with an especially splendidly stocked Lidl, no waitrose as yet but soon. There are a full range of leisure facilities in Streatham, we have an ice rink, yes the one where that boy was shot. If you go down the hill from the High Road, straight past the yellow sign talking about kerb crawling there is the beautiful Lido, open throughout the summer. I love the way the very air of Streatham is redolent of our many different cafes and chicken shacks. And running through the middle of Streatham is the High Road like a main circuit cable. On a very special night under those southern stars you might hear the triple; an ambulance, a fire engine and a police van all careering through the traffic jam. To be in Streatham is to be in heaven.
yours etc
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