Three Questions about a Kebab

Jacqui Smith said she wouldn't walk the streets of Hackney. Things not that bad then Jacqui? We're luckily not faced with the daunting prospect of Jacqui Smith asking us "Any business ?" as the Home Secretary is just plain scared to walk the streets of Hackney or even, hang on to your hankies, the mean boulevards of Kensington and Chelsea.

Well that's what she told the Sunday Times but apparently an aide, that's a PR spin controller, rang to say that it didn't come out as she had intended.

Oh!

and continued to say

"She said Smith had recently “bought a kebab in Peckham” at night. The south London district is one of the most deprived in the capital. "

Really?

Let's think about this, you won't walk the streets of Hackney but will get a kebab in Peckham. Just off the top of my head I think the odds would be more in your favour in Hackney than Peckham.

Mmmmmmm must have have talked to one of her six body guards

"Hey Len, what can I say that makes me sound hard?"

"Errrrrr, you bought a kebab in Peckham?"

Or, maybe, it was just memories of Only Fools and Horses in the rarefied atmosphere of the Spin meisters office.

"Oh, fecking-a-cock-a-doodle-do-do what can we say that sounds hard?"

"Oh gosh....errrrr....ooooh I know where was that program about those frightful oiks the Trotters made?

"Peckham. Where is that do you think?"

I can see the T-Shirts now. "I bought a Kebab in Peckham and survived.

What I'd like to know is where did she buy the kebab?

What sort of kebab it was?

When she bought it?

Would it have been Sam's Kebabs on Bellenden Road or the Troy Kebab House on Old Kent Road?

Sounds like spin-doctor bollocks to me.

But prove me wrong.